This months questions:

Bill, does it get easier?

Fundamentally my answer is hopefully, no it doesn’t.

Now hang on a second before you start having a major meltdown because of what I just outlined, please allow me a chance to explain myself.

The reality is it does get easier however I hope as ‘it’ (and ‘it’ can be whatever you want it to be) is getting easier you are continuing to push the limits, to explore new situations, taking the most of every opportunity and an ongoing commitment to seeing your potential realised, so that it probably doesn’t get that much easier.

It should never be easy. However it should to some degree and at certain times to some slight degree, get easier.

I say that based on the fact that as we face the challenges of life weather they be personal, professional, educational, or spiritual, we become better educated, better skilled, more knowledgeable, with greater insight, competence and efficiency.

No doubt there are times when we probably don’t see that we are making progress or that we are getting better and that things will never get easier. It is at these times when we must look at our situation and ourselves and change our perspective.

We can at these times either see a hole or a donut, the glass is either half full or half empty.

It all depends on how we, at these times, view the world, ourselves and the situation that stands in front of us.

Now I am not going to get into the law of attraction, or the concept of positive thinking (not that I have anything against either), but I in times, like these, always remember the words of one of my mentors Bill Sweetenham when he would tell me “You are getting experience that no-one else is.”

I must admit at the time due to the challenges, the trials and tribulations he had organised for me, I did find it hard to see the positive side of it, however he kept throwing me these situations and the line about experience and I somehow managed to get through each one. And in doing so, became further skilled, knowledgeable and increasingly better in dealing with my perspective and in the process how to handle the situations he presented to me.

In the early days of learning, it is sometimes hard to see that we will ever become truly competent to handle certain situations of life, however in my experience, we tend to travel through four (4) cycles of learning, development and competence.

Let me explain it to you like this:

4×1-2 Year Development Plan

Years 1-2/3
Usually many problems and situations. Usually you have 1-2 methods to fix the problem or overcome the situation, which allows you something like a 50-50 success rate.

Years 2/3-4/5
During this period you will have fewer problems and difficult situations to deal with. This is brought about by the skills and learning from your first cycle of development. However, this second stage of development is not totally devoid of testing times, difficult situations and stressful circumstances.

At these times you now have an expanded arsenal of problem solving, situation rectifying and difficulty resolving skills. Basically you will have 4-5 methods to fix or overcome the situations that sit before you. Therefore your rate of success begins to increase.

Years 4/5-6/7
This is probably one of those periods where things do get easier. The reasons being that you have very few if any problems. Why? Because you are now skilled enough to cut off the problems, circumvent the difficult situations before they even happen. Your success rate during this stage is very high.

Years 6/7 and onwards
Now we come to the interesting parts of the journey of self-development. Things kind of become easier in some ways, but not really. Once again let me explain.

There are problems, situations and pressure filled situations. The difference being this time you create them!

What I hear you say, ‘Bill have you lost your mind?’

I spend all my time becoming skilled enough to remove these situations and now I am creating them myself.

Why would I do that?

Easy.

You have become that skilled at your leadership, your problem solving skills, your situation rectifying abilities that you now create problems, situations and stress so you can use them to teach others how to deal with them.

So I know it is a long answer to a quick question, but my real answer is this. I would hope that it doesn’t get easier for you. Why? Because I would like you to continue to push the limits, to explore new situations, taking the most of every opportunity and in the process, you have an ongoing commitment to see your true potential realised.

The Journey Continues!

In a recent post on his Blog marketing guru Seth Godin talks about the concept of ‘coachability’.

Seth’s article leads to the point that for someone to get the best out of a coaching experience they have to want to be coached and therefore, emotionally involved in the coaching process.

The subject of coachability is very close to me. In fact, it is an element of what I do everyday in one form or another.

In recent times I have had two instances where I have had to pursue the question of coachability.

One directly where I was being asked to coach a particular group of Managers. Due to a number of reasons I decided that they were not, at least from my perspective, coachable.

When I informed the potential clients of my decision, they were shocked to say the least and within a very short period of time, raised the point of how much money I would make from the opportunity.

I thanked them for the kind offer and went on to reiterate that although I am in business and truly appreciated the level of remuneration involved, what I believed would be required to be done just to get them involved in the coaching process, would not make it a worthwhile experience.

I then attempted to outline that there is a level of participation and commitment that I deem necessary (e.g. the level of coachability) for the coaching process to have any chance of succeeding.

I went on to further explain that from what I had seen so far, the money, no matter how much, probably would not make me feel any better about what would be required just to get them to where they needed to be, just so we could then begin the real purpose for us getting together.

This may sound arrogant, rude and/or dumb. But after coaching for nearly thirty years, I find it a waste of my time explaining to someone over and over again why they have to work hard or why they need to be totally involved, or why success comes at a price and you have to pay the price in advance.

To be totally honest, I would rather spend my time working out how it is I can make someone better. Or how can I help them achieve that goal they desire so much. What are the strategies required to see the outcomes we are pursuing achieved?

This is where I want to be spending my time and theirs.

The second situation involved my role as a coach to another very successful coach. As we were reviewing his past season I asked him to consider six questions.

One of those questions was ‘Did he believe his team was coachable’?

Now please don’t get me wrong. This was not a question about talent, skill or desire and it was not a put down of his team or anyone within it.

But it was a question based on the fact that for any individual/team to get better, the coach needs to be able to coach and the individual/team need to want to be coached.