This month’s question is:

Are there any particular points you refer to when helping people pursue success?

And the answer strangely enough is, Yes.

And in no particular chronological order of importance here they are:

1. How To Deal With Outside Influences

Whether it is from the perspective of mental toughness, or from the ability to stay focussed, or from the desire to overcome obstacles or to learn from mistakes so you become better at what you do, dealing with outside influences becomes a critical factor in the pursuit of success.

Now as you will have noticed we didn’t say whether these outside influences were negative or positive, but either way, you will need to have a process to deal with both elements.

From a negative perspective dealing without influences is at the very heart of my definition of mental toughness.

The ability to deal with negativity and stay focussed on the things that need to be done, is one of those skills that many people are looking to improve upon.

This ability can be greatly enhanced by making sure the outcomes you are pursuing are really something that you want to achieve. The outcomes that you want to achieve really do mean something to you.

And last but not least, before you begin your pursuit of success, make sure you have 5-6 reasons as to why you want to pursue and attain these outcomes.

On the other side of the coin, and from a positive perspective the outside influences, you will have to deal with will be wide and varied but none the less they will have to be dealt with.

Some of these outside influences will be well meaning family and friends. But if they have an ability to influence you, then you need to have a plan and an understanding of how to deal with them.

I know this sounds weird that you would have to have a process to deal with a positive influence, but my reasoning is based on this. A positive influence has to be handled so that it remains positive as if or when it starts to change and change in a way that is not in your control, then chances are all of a sudden your positive influence has quickly become a negative one.

2. Commitment

There are a million and one descriptions of what commitment is all about. But from my experience there are a lot of people involved in the pursuit of success, but now where near as many actually committed to its attainment.

For success to truly have any chance of happening, you will have to be the most single minded person in the world, you will have to maintain focus on what is important through the ups and downs, the high and lows, the good times and the bad. Yes, I know this is not easy, but it is really important.

Once again for commitment to be where it needs to be, there has to be strong goals in front of you and there has to be strong specific reasons as to why you are pursuing these outcomes and why you want to see them attained.

The other aspect to consider is that you can be aided by others when your levels of commitment are not what they should be. However, a word of warning people are not naturally able to read minds.

So if you want someone to help you with your levels of commitment and therefore help you towards your attainment of success, you need to explain to them what you need from them, what their roles are and how it might all work.

Second hint, when you ask someone to help you, pick wisely. Following bad advice or feedback doesn’t usually end in a favorable result. Also when these people you have selected carefully and then asked for their feedback, insight and advice, start doing what you have asked them to do, then you had better listen and act upon the info or insight they give you.

3. How You Handle Discouragement

Boy does this point open up all sorts of thoughts. But as I write this, I have spent the day working with a number of young elite level athletes and thankfully their response to discouragement was inline with what most people would expect.

However, I witnessed first hand three people today that didn’t handle the fact that they had not performed well and how they dealt with it, I would imagine would have been an embarrassment to those around them and given time probably embarrassing to the people themselves.

None of us ever feel too good when things don’t go the way we want. But the reality is that nothing ever just happens. And by that I mean, we might not like what has happened but if we are smart, we should realise that we can learn why it didn’t go our way, then make some changes so that we know it will not happen again.

The other thing to realise is that everything matters. That everything we do will have an effect on the results we pursue. Either in a positive way or in a negative manner,

One last point on this and this point goes back to where we started and that is we might not be able to handle our reaction, but we should at all times make sure we are in control of how we respond.

Don’t sit there and wallow in self pity, don’t go kicking doors or punching walls. Don’t start screaming at others or blaming conditions. Get a mirror that works. And start  taking responsibility for those things you are responsible for, learn from the situation and move on.

4. Process To Handle Problems

Now I know there are many different ways to handle the problems that life throws our way. But for me when and where I can, I go with the simplest yet most effective methods I can and when it comes to process to handle problems, this is my four point plan:

a. Understand situation
b. Develop plan of attack
c. Take action
d. See point 1.

There you have it. Four areas that I have used over and over again to help people prepare to pursue success. I also know first hand that these four areas are only the beginning of the process, it is the detail within each area and the relevance of that detail to the level, type and degree of success that will make the significant difference.

So please use the four points of:

1. How to deal with outside influences
2. Commitment
3. How you handle discouragement
4. Process to handle problems

as the framework to build a plan a level of understanding and a strategy to pursue success.

And as you do remember:

The Journey Continues!