Bill Nelson

The title of this post would probably seem fairly self explanatory and in most cases probably just common sense. But as we have no doubt all witnessed sometime or somewhere in our lives, common sense is not always common place.

And on the area of personal change, my believe that real change has to come from within is not something that is common place.

Recently I have been reminded of this in a number of different ways and in each and every scenario the change that was being sort had no chance of happening because the person that was supposed to change had no idea, reason, motivation, desire or necessity to change.

So guess what happened ?

Yeah, exactly things remained the same.

The idea of using external influenced to change someone has merit, however that external influence has to be directed first and foremost at having the individual, that the change is aimed at, to realise the benefit to them of the proposed change.

But even with that realisation and understanding, this still doesn't guarantee successful change. However without it, the chances of change are at worst non existent and at best, very limited.

So before you go about dealing with the process for change, make sure the benefit surrounding the change is clearly realised, understood and agreed to by the recipient.

Here are a few reasons why:

• Most people want to change their circumstance to improve their life, rather than changing themselves to improve their circumstances
• Most people change because they feel the pain and not because they see the benefit.
• Most people change just enough to get away from their problems, but not enough to solve them.
• Most people look upon change as an uncomfortable thing that has to be done rather than a beneficial thing that can be done.

My experience in working with people on the area of change has led me to the firm realisation that for most, if not all, how they view change and everything associated with it will determine how successful that change will be.

I have been coaching for nearly thirty years now and in every situation where the person I am coaching is not an active participant in the process of improvement or change, then the change process becomes a very long, challenging, arduous and demanding journey, for both parties.

My advice for anyone working with someone to bring about change is to make sure your first step is to help the person realise why change is going to be of benefit to them.

Remember change will only come out of necessity and in the first instance, you have to get them to realise that necessity.

And when they do, they will be an active participant in the process of change.

If you are an individual looking to see change in your life, then make sure you don't pass on the responsibility for your change to someone else. Identify the change you want to make. Understand what will need to be done. And finally, understand what it is you want to see as an end result.

Then recruit, create or develop a help and support structure that will guide you to where it is you want to go.

As a coach, a leader, a parent, a teacher as good as you are you cannot make someone change.

As an individual it is not someone else's responsibility to make you change.

So we finish where we started, Real Change Has To Come From Within.

The Journey Continues!