Bill Nelson

In one of my recent tweets I posed the question of...

Being right or being happy; can you have both?

The majority of responses were...yes you can, and to a certain extent, I agree.

However, I also believe that without the right approach it is very easy to generate more negative emotions than positive in the pursuit of being right. Without too much effort or thinking, emotions such as sadness, anger and resentment will be generated and done so in relatively quick succession.

See the need to be right for all sorts of reasons can become very personal.

It has an ability to let the true purpose of what you are trying to state be lost in the need to show others your knowledge, your skill and your experience, and through this that you are right.

It can, for all sorts of reasons, cause you to take a stance or to make a point to a degree far in excess of what is needed or required.

It has an ability to get you into that one-up mindset, where once again the real point of the discussion, or the relevant level of discussion probably gets lost in your desire and in some cases need to be get on top of the other point of view.

Being right, if not dealt with in the correct manner, has an ability to hold you to ransom.

It can and will captivate your mindset and therefore generate certain actions, approach and communication that is about one thing and one thing only: your need to prove yourself right. You create a necessity to show that you know your stuff, you create a need to highlight your understanding, your experience and your level of skill.

See, this is where it becomes personal.

In the pursuit of being right you take the other point of view as almost a put down of you, what you are about, what you know and what you believe to be true.

But the question has to be asked...

Is this really the true position or intent of the other party?

To put you down, to show you they are smarter than you?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Was it the other parties true intent to get themselves to the point of putting you down? Or was it you in your desire to be right that caused them to take the approach of going after you?

A simple, yet effective key to being right and being happy is to understand the situation correctly. To know and truly understand the position and intent of the other party. So that you know what is required to resolve the situation that sits before you.

To have that necessary insight that will allow you to know how you should best deal with what sits in front of you. Take the time and make the effort to ascertain all the facts so that your emotional, verbal and strategic response is what is needed to resolve the situation as opposed to what is needed to prove yourself right.

Being right can be an enjoyable experience as long as the pursuit of it doesn't hijack you, your thinking, and your emotions in the process.

Maintain perspective in always and at all times. Never lose sight of the quality of the relationship in your pursuit of being right or showing someone else that your knowledge experience or understanding is superior.

Being right will only be enjoyable experience after you have truly realised the cost.

Getting the right result is always going to be better than you just being right, and by understanding and pursuing the significance of that point...

The Journey Continues!