I recently presented an article in my newsletter titled “Live an uncomfortable existence”, about getting out of your comfort zone.

I wanted to use this blog post to expand a little on how to stretch our comfort zones, and why we need to. In my experience one of the great stumbling blocks to getting what you want out of life is the fear of failure. For many years I have observed that achieving almost always requires overcoming some fear of failure.

For some of my clients this was not a problem but for the majority it was a major hurdle in reaching their goals.

What is failure?

Is it attempting something and not achieving the desired result?

For me that is not a definition of failure. To me, failure is sitting in your comfort zone and never attempting to do anything that will make a better life for yourself.

Do you lack confidence to try?

Confidence doesn’t have to be a pre requisite to attempt anything. Well not confidence in achieving the end result. The only confidence you truly need is the confidence to take the first step towards that result. And as you take more successful steps, your confidence will increase, and before long you have achieved your goal. Even though it might take more than one or two attempts.

Sometimes the thought of just taking that first step outside your normal comfort zone is too much. Hence the need to practise the comfort zone exercises, so you are not daunted by starting out.

Why?

Because you have practised how to operate effectively outside of your comfort zone each and everyday.

My good friend, Graeme Alford gave this idea to me: Comfort Zone Exercises—one short term, one long term. The Comfort Zone Exercises can be whatever you need them to be, just so long as they make you feel a little uncomfortable and they get you out of that comfort zone. The exercises don’t have to be relevant to anyone but you.

Some of the great things about these exercises are: you learn how to operate when feeling a little unsettled out of your comfort zone, and you realise that at any time you have a choice to walk into or away from anything you want.

Here are few examples, but remember your comfort zone exercises are only relevant to getting you out of your comfort zone.

Short Term

• No coffee for a week
• No dessert after dinner
• No chocolate
• Give up alcohol and cigarettes for a period
• Have lunch with work colleagues you don’t particularly get on with
• Take a Toastmaster’s course and MC the annual work Christmas party
• Take singing lessons and start practising the national anthem
• Take a high speed driving course
• Don’t eat until you are hungry. No, I mean really hungry
• For a short period, wear clothes that are not really you
• Take diving, caving or learn to fly classes

Long Term

• Take public transport to work for one year
• Exercise for 30 mins three times per week for a year
• Sit on the committee of your local sporting club for a season
• Be a volunteer at a local homeless shelter
• Get out of bed one hour earlier each day
• Walk to work for a year
• Drink nothing but water for a year
• Take an education course in something that you know you are not strong in
• For one hour each week for one year, do something you do not like to do

As you can see the Comfort Zone Exercises are only restricted by your imagination. The key is to think about the things that make you uneasy, and then just gradually put yourself in those situations. In some cases you will complete your exercises first go. In others, you may need to repeat them as you might fall a little short on your first attempt.

The significance and benefit of comfort zone exercise is that no-one else is making you do it; it’s just you and your desire to develop your own skills and abilities.

Do you have trouble getting out of your comfort zone? Have you got your own stories about stretching that zone with your own activities or exercises?

Please leave a comment to share your story with us.

As you walk around these days you cannot help but notice that how we communicate is rapidly changing. These changes have come about for many different reasons, one of the main being technology. In this day and age we use technology to increase and strengthen our communication process.

We use:

Mobile phones, Email,VOIP, Blogging, Podcasting, Instant messaging, Text messaging etc etc etc.

But you know what, as good as this stuff is, it is taking away the need and ability to be able to communicate one on one and face to face.

As an example think about the places you used to spend time talking with your family:

At the breakfast table of a morning. Travelling in the car. At the family evening meal.

Then bring in technology to those situations and many more and you see where things are going from a strength to a weakness.

Traveling in the car is near impossible each kid as their mp3 player jammed in their ears. Evening meal discussion (if everyone is there) over the evening news. Or in between SMS messages from friends or Blackberry email messages from the office. Breakfast discussions in between the radio belting out the news or watching the morning breakfast shows on TV.

Face to face meetings are disrupted because the mobile rings or in comes an important email message.

My point is simple use technology and the like to expand our opprtunity to comunicate but dont let it take away from the best form of communication there is that being face to face. I know not always possible but make that the exception not the norm.

Oh and yeah spend time with the family doing nothing other than talking. And if the kids find it hard educate them on how to do it better, because somewhere and at sometime in their life they are actually going to have to talk to someone face to face and be able to string three sentences or more together.

I sit here at Adelaide airport waiting for my return flight to Sydney. My interest is raised as I watch people positioning themselves for a non seat allocation flight.

They start to create a queue for what reason I am not entirely sure. I can only guess that it might be so they get a good seat?
The interesting thing is that this is all happening well before the boarding announcement is made. No big deal.

But when that first boarding call is made things change and change fast. Peoples behaviours. manners and personality change for the worse.The queue concept in some peoples mind are in consequential, they just push in to the line where they feel they should. Jumping the queue, and generally pushing others out of the way.
The result being that the patience of those that have tried to do the right thing is being reduced at a great rate.

I can only sit and ponder can these people that are so focussed on getting on this plane can they see the person they have become in their endevour? Or if they can do they really care?

Or then gain maybe I have it wrong and the only thing that matters is getting that premium seat?

Today my son and I were discussing (debating is probably a better description) about whether we would play a certain CD as we were driving to the beach for an early morning surf. (Unfortunately no surf) He said he didn’t like the band and therefore didn’t want to listen to the CD.

We then proceeded to discuss the difference between liking something and appreciating what has gone in to the making of it. I told him that it was not important that he liked the band or the song but that if he listened and understood certain aspects of the song he would appreciate the skill and expertise that went in to it’s creation.

My point was that if all we do is base our opportunities to learn and understand on the things we like than we are going to miss out on so much.

Today has proved to be very interesting for a whole entirety of reasons.

It was not to far into the day when I was asked to do an interview in regard to Australian swimmmer Ian Thorpe who has recently set up home in the Holywood Hills and from the media perspective not doing to much (reportedly) in as far as the training side of things are concerned.

The next minute I was sitting with my son and watching the Pink Floyd DVD pulse.

Now both of these situations got me thinking about talent and the need to respect the talent we have and to make the most of it.

Yes Ian Thorpe is a talented athlete, Dave Gilmour and the boys from Pink Floyd are talented musicians. But we all have our own talents. Having it is one thing and respecting it is totally another.

Those that respect their talent make sure they do what they can to fully develop that talent and in the process stop it from being wasted.

Regardless of the area of your talent make sure you do what you can each and everyday to respect it and in the process gain the most from it.

“Bill I learn so I become more knowledgeable”.

So what’s the big deal? Everyone learns to get more knowledgeable.

Well yes, but this statement came from a 15 year old schoool girl, who was explaining to me that she doesnt just go to school to learn enough to pass an exam, she wanted to learn to become more knowledgeable.

So is this something we should consider: ‘Learning with a non specific curriculum’?

Watching National Geographic just to learn. Reading a book that you have no real need to read. Spend time interviewing someone about there past, their beliefs, their thoughts and their goals.

Learning for learning’s sake as opposed to learning with a specific outcome in mind?