This month’s question is:

How can you help me understand why I don’t do the things I know I should?

I will attempt to answer the question through the following information:

On any given day and at no particular time, chances are there are things you are supposed to be doing that you are not.

These things can range from visiting a sick family member, to finishing off a report, to returning a phone call, to cleaning out the garage.

These things that you know you should be doing but are not, can be both personal and or professional. As this practice of not doing the things you know you should, pretty much transcends across many different if not all aspects  of life.

But why?

What is it that holds you back from doing the things you know you should?

Reality is that this is a significant problem in today’s society. The numbers right now support this to a point where it becomes hard to believe the enormity of the situation.

Figures from the medical world suggest that over 65% of people, if told they will do themselves serious harm if they don’t stop doing something, continue to do it.

But why?

What is it that stops a perfectly logical thinking person, with common sense approach to life and desire to do the right thing, not do it?

Let’s explore a few possibilities:

1. Competing Commitments

This is where you are sitting down to the burger with fries, side order of onion rings, the large drink and the chocolate sundae and start to have the conversation about why can’t I loose weight.

Conflicting commitments is this situation and similar. Although you say you are committed to a particular direction, concept or element of change, you continually do things that contradict these statements.

Although this may seem illogical and quite unreasonable to an outside observer, it is not uncommon for the individual involved to not be able to understand it either.

Research from Keegan & Lahey 2001 outline the concept of competing commitments in this way:

Basically, what we are looking at here is that we have one commitment to do what the situation seems to require.  We have another commitment to a conviction we have about what will happen if we do.

They call this (unconscious) opinion the Big Assumption.

Keegan & Lahey note “People rarely realise they hold the big assumptions because, quite simply, they accept them as reality.  Often formed long ago and seldom, if ever, critically examined, big assumptions are woven into the very fabric of people’s existence.”

The bottom line focus of dealing with competing commitments is all about releasing people from the Big Assumption.  Everyone holds assumptions that they “know” are true, but for other people are not.  Some people know dogs are friendly, others know they are dangerous.

The research of Keegan & Lahey has shown that there are 5 questions we must pose to ourself so that we can understand these competing commitments and therefore create an opportunity to move on:

a. “What would you like to see changed?”

They note that the response is usually couched in a complaint.  People complain about what they care about.  So they suggest we ask, “What commitment does your complaint imply?

If we use the example above, about the person that is complaining about their weight. You would then work hard to define the positive intent. Which in this case, could be that they like to be recognised as a person of high levels of fitness & athleticism.

b. “What are you doing or not doing that is keeping your commitments from being fully realised?”

If we were to continue using the example from above, you would look to see what is this person doing to retard to level of commitment?

Looking at this as part of our example: This person is working long hours, skipping meals and then makes up for it by eating takeaway food or convenient meals and therefore continues to gain weight and in the process continues to loose fitness.

c. “If you imagine doing the opposite of what your undermining behavior, do you detect in yourself a level of fear, worry or discomfort? “

All you are really trying to ascertain here is that if you change your behavior/commitments would there be any consequences?

Following on using our example: Our takeaway eating, low fitness level, long hours worker, cannot work less hours.

So to counteract this they would need to create a plan that allows them to exercise at another time.

They would also need to get up earlier of a morning to allow them to prepare some of their own daily meals so they can increase their intake of healthy food.

However the biggest inconvenience comes from not being able to go to the pub as much of a night. The pub schedule has been knocked about because now each evening after work they would be going to the gym to workout.

All of this reality produces a feeling of loss of control, a vision of operating well out of their comfort zone, and a feeling of giving up soooo much to gain so little.

d. “By engaging in this undermining behavior, what worrisome outcome are you committed to preventing.”

When you use this question to unearth those outcomes, you are bringing yourself within striking range to understand and realise the Big Assumption.

Following on with our example takeaway eating person, their Big Assumption is along these lines:

That the financial cost to losing weight is to high.

They would need to hire a personal trainer, purchase special workout clothing, buy special food, supplementation and fluids. And then when they lose weight, they would need to purchase an entirely new wardrobe.

2. Procrastination

I continue to hear that procrastination comes from lack of confidence. And to certain degree that is true.

However, I also believe that there are other contributing factors as to why procrastination continues in everyday life.

Some of these maybe real and some maybe perceived, either way these are contributing factors as to why we procrastinate:

• Don’t have the resources
• The project isn’t motivating/fun/challenging/ enjoyable
• Don’t  have the time
• Don’t have the energy needed
• Don’t have the clarity on the best way to go forward
• The task is too big
• Don’t like doing new things
• Fear of what others might think
• Feeling you have to do something as opposed to just wanting to do it
• Feeling that it has to be done a certain way and for whatever reason it cannot be done that way right now

I think one of the most important aspects to realise about procrastination is that the reason why it happens will vary from project to project.

To start working on overcoming it, you should start to explore the reason why you might procrastinate well before the next project is on the starting line. But as you do, also realise there is no one way that will singularly help you overcome procrastination.

3. Fear of failure

Once again this is one of those elements that is very wide spread throughout society. For many years I have researched the topic with those that I have worked with and the figures are still excessively high.

In common terms, the figures show that as many as 80%+ of people are driven by fear of failure. And in elite achievers, this figure only drops back to the mid to high 70% range.

The biggest contributors to fear of failure are these:

a. Thinking too far ahead
You start to think about something perhaps a goal and end result a particular situation and then you start to draw it out to a final objective. That final objective might be 1, 2, 5, 10 years away and the minute you start to put time and space between where you are now and that final objective, you will also start to doubt your ability to get the job done.

The perspective I would like you to consider is that you don’t need to have confidence of reaching that final objective before you start it. You only need to have the confidence that is required to take the next step in the journey.

b. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy
You start to do things that cause your fear to become a reality. Not that you are causing yourself to fail on purpose, but never the less, you start to do things that cause it to happen.

You do things in a protective way. You second guess some decisions, you don’t do things at the time you should have because you have been over thinking them.

Once again, these are not huge mistakes, but just little ones and by themselves probably would not affect you and your performance to any great degree. But ad them together and all of a sudden you realise that what you have wanted to avoid the most you have just made happen.

c. Comfort zone
We have covered this topic many times, but it is without a doubt one of the key contributors to fear of failure. To overcome this problem you must start/continue to work at doing things outside of your comfort zone. This way, when the time arises where you have no choice but to do something out of your comfort zone, it will be no big deal.

d. We see failure as a negative
The most widely used learning tool used in the development of a human being is trial and error. We can learn, study, understand research and all the rest of it but there comes a time where you have to do.

The chances are that when you do it you may not get it right straight away. But this I do know to be true: if you don’t get it right the first time, you will certainly be a lot better educated on how to get it right for your next attempt.

4. Pride getting in the way

What will others think?
I should be able to do this myself?
I am better than this.
I don’t need anyone to help me.

I bet you can probably think of a thousand more situations that you have done or know of where pride/ego got in the way of good decision making.

We could go over a whole heap of information on cause and effect as it relates to this situation.

But do we need to?

Do we need to do anything other than to have you challenge yourself when the time is right by asking yourself  “Am I letting my pride/ego get in the way of doing what is right?”

5. Fear of success

To some degree  this may sound strange, but you would be surprised as to the frequency at which this occurs from people’s worry of what will happen to them and their world if they DO succeed.

A number of the issues we outlined in the fear of failure section also come into play here.

The worry of the unknown, for instance, is tackled in the same way. Do your homework and talk to as many people as you can.

This is made a lot easier by the fact that success is usually very well publicised, so it should not be too hard to find information on people who have attempted and successfully attained similar goals to the ones you have set for yourself.

These discussions and communications will give you a clearer picture of what you can expect and the pros and cons of the journey you are about to take.

Also, if you are in control of each step that you take and complete along the way, then you will be in control of the end result when you get there.

Through learning the skills of control as your journey has unfolded, you will have gained quite a considerable level of skill and confidence to allow you to control everything that happens when and after you have successfully completed your mission.

The understanding of control comes from the ability to take accountability for everything you do.

If you know you are responsible for the things you say and do and the events that happen in your life, then you must also understand that change only comes about if you instigate it or you allow it to happen.

Therefore, the fear of change due to your success can be removed if you understand that you can be in control of what happens to you. You have the ability and scope to change and redirect anything and everything that goes on in your life.

Just so you know what am talking about here, here are some of the key drivers towards fear of success:

• Even though you attain all that you set out to do you worry that you will no be content, satisfied or fulfilled

• Even though you have achieved all you desire it may not be recognised by others

• Through what you have achieved you will be recognised by others

• Because of what you accomplish you will gain added expectation (media, public scrutiny)

• That you will not be able to sustain or rise above that level of accomplishment

• That you are not worthy of the success that will come your way

• That when you do achieve others will attempt/surpass your accomplishments

So what is it that stops you doing the things you know you should?

What is it that causes conflict and therefore, the things you should be doing don’t get done?

Why don’t you have the discipline to just do what needs to be done?

The bottom line is these questions can only really be answered by you. Get a mirror that works and as you do remember:

The Journey Continues!

Last month we started working through my response to the question of:

What can I do to deal with the daily pressures associated with my job and my life?

At the time I outlined that rather than spend time trying to work out how to deal with it if and when it occurs. I thought it better to outline a few ideas that might help us reduce the frequency of having to deal with it at all.

But after a period of time I found that my few ideas had become a lot of ideas. So rather than throw everything at you at once I have split my ideas up into two.

Here is the second installment.

Also, please do not hesitate to post a response to anything you read or and comment you might have about the subject of Dealing With Stress/Pressure.

Get out of your comfort zone
Know what it is like to deal with uncomfortable situations by having little exercises that take you out of your comfort zone each and everyday.

Spend time with you
There are always demands on you and your time. Without being selfish make sure you have a little bit of “you” time.

Be smarter and therefore better

The more we educate ourselves the easier it becomes to handle situations when they are encountered.

Give what you want to receive
Make sure you understand that what comes your way could be reflection of what you put out.

Take responsibility for your own actions
Instead of saying why does this happen to me, understand it is probably happening because you did something to cause it.

Goals
Each day have the discipline of daily action to take you closer to the goals and aspirations that you have set yourself.

Change

Be open minded to change, but never lower your standards.

Be involved in the positive
Surround yourself with positive people and influences. When there is a negative conversation taking place, walk away.

Stand your ground
Without being ridiculous stand up for the things you believe in and be consistent in doing it.

Respect, popularity and you
Understand that not everyone is going to like who you are, what you are about or what you stand for but that is OK. See point above.

Repetition

Don’t do things to release the pressure or stress and then wake up the next morning and worry and stress because you did them.

Motivation V Discipline
Sometimes you will have to do things you do not like this is called discipline. Sometimes you can do things you want to do this is called motivation. Understand the difference and when and how to use each one.

Learn to say ‘No’
One of the great stress and pressure busters is without being rude is to be able to say no. People are always placing themselves in situations that 10 mins have after they have agreed to something they start to stress about having to do it. Just learn to say ‘no’.

Relaxation techniques
These days there are any number of relaxation tapes and CD’s available. Get hold of one and use it as often as you can.

In the nose out the mouth
I am sure there is more to effective breathing than this. But I do know that effective and consistent deep breathing goes along way to helping reduce stress and anxiety.

Daily Inspiration
In your own manner find inspiration in each and everyday. This daily inspiration can be found through religion, meditation and Tai Chi, reading, music and the like.

Positive self talk
As important as it is to be in a positive environment and dealing with positive people it falls short of the need for us to be positive to ourself. Make sure when you start hearing that little voice it is saying all the right things.

Wind down the window and enjoy the view

As busy as you are everyday, make sure you take the time to understand and enjoy what it is you are doing and to take full advantage of all of the opportunities these situations provide.

New friends and acquaintances
Try to each day spend time with new people. New insight and perspective will provide you with renewed positive outlook on the opportunities that are available.

Be on time
There has to be a thousand different ways to do this. But if you want to reduce stress and anxiety be on time for the things you have to do.

Have a plan
Without getting to robotic in your day, make sure you have an understanding and a plan of attack for each and everyday. At the end make sure you have accomplished the majority of what you set out to do.

A little exercise goes along way
There is an infinite amount of descriptions of what constitutes exercise, which for your purpose is great. Just make sure each and everyday you do some type of exercise.

Keep looking forward
No sense dwelling on the past the only thing you can control is what happens in the future?

Have ago to place
When you get an inkling of what might be around the corner take a little time away from where you are and go to a place that is going to allow you to be cool, calm and collected.

Don’t ignore the signs

Sometimes we fail to hear ourselves telling us things that are important. Our body uses various means to tell us certain things be in touch with yourself so you know what you should be doing and when.

Prevention is better than cure
Probably no more needs to be said.

The Journey Continues!

This month’s question of:

Do I always lead from the front?

Is one that allows me to share with you a number of different ideas? I think the first insight I want to share with you is that you don’t always need to lead from the front, (and I will explain this in more detail a little later) however, I do believe you always need to lead by example.

To help you understand where I am coming from on the concept of Leading by Example, I want to go back to an article I have previously written:

I hear it so often. It gets stated by good leaders and by others, perhaps not so good. I hear it from young leaders and old leaders alike. I hear it from leaders with many years experience and from those with basically no experience.

I hear it spoken about as though it is a strength, when in most cases, it actually is a weakness.

The phrase I am talking about is:

“I lead by example!”

Leadership by example is fantastic as long as the example is the right kind of example.

As a leader do you have people saying this to you?

“Well if you want it done, then you go out and do it”, or

“If you believe it can be done, then you show me how!”

Leadership by example, in my opinion, is not doing for someone that which they should be prepared to do for themselves.

Obviously, there are going to be times when, because of circumstances, you need to go before everyone else and show what can be done.

Then there is no problem.

But if as a leader you always need to “be an example”, by doing what the people you lead should be doing, then you have a problem.

And that problem is either with you or the team. And as it stands, neither the team nor you are going to see the true benefits of a combined approach if everything continues the way it is.

Let me try and put this another way:

“Leadership is what you do with someone not what you do for someone.”

You are involved with the people you lead; you work with them. But as I said, very rarely should you do for them that which they are capable of doing for themselves.

As you no doubt realise, this will take a great deal of discipline on your part because there will be times when you “leading by example” is your fault, not theirs. Think through some of these statements:

• It was just easier for me to do it
• We were short of time
• I have extensive knowledge in that area
• I just needed to show them how it is done
• Delegation is not my strength

All of these are very legitimate reasons. All of them however, are negatives, not positives.

Yes, it might be easier for you to do it; and yes, they can learn from observing you; and yes, time is important; and yes, to every other reason you want to use to justify your actions.

But if all you ever do is solve the problems of the people you lead without helping them learn to solve them for themselves, then you are not really doing the right thing by them.

And leadership is all about doing the right thing by the people you lead.

Leadership is about empowering the people around you. Are you really empowering them by “being an example” and doing it for them time and time again?

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not talking about the one or two situations where you introduce something new and then show them what is going on. What I am talking about here is role confusion: role confusion highlighted by the fact that you continue to fill their roles and don’t really fulfil yours.

So can leading by example be a strength?

Can leading by example really help those you lead?

Can you fulfil your role just by leading by example?

Can you empower someone by leading by example?

Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!

But it all depends on the type of example you are showing.

• Honesty
• Integrity
• Commitment
• Caring
• Discipline
• Communication
• Values
• Ethics
• Standards
• Purpose

These are the areas where you do want to lead by example. These are the areas that will have people following your lead. These are the areas that will empower people and these are areas that are capable of taking those you lead to another level; firstly as people, and then as colleagues involved in your specific work.

It is this leading by example that will generate the most important aspect of leadership: Trust.

Those around you will follow you because they trust you. People will follow your example when it truly helps them become better. People will follow you when you show your belief in them, by letting them do it for themselves.

So hopefully, I have been able to clarify my position on leading by example which then leads us back to the original question of should you always lead from the front.

To which my simple answer would be, No. But once again please allow me to explain.

My belief is that there are three different levels from which you can position yourself in your quest to be an effective leader.

Above=Leadership
Beside=Fellowship
Below=Followership

Now before we get to far into this, let me outline this important consideration in regard to this model:

One level is not necessarily better or more important than another.

I believe the best level of positioning will be situation specific. I know there would be others that would have contrary view to this and probably a very strong one.

And that view would be along the lines of: “There is only one place to lead from and that is out in front or above the people you lead”. Now without getting us side tracked I believe this to be a very restricted view.

But back to the specifics of:
Above=Leadership
Beside=Fellowship
Below=Followership

As a leader you understand the sequence of influence and you will also be aware that in some occasions you will need to be above or infront of the team, Leadership. Leading them to where they need to be. But at the same time, as we went through above not doing for them those things they should be doing for themselves. Basically, not leading by example by doing the things they should be doing.

But when the team has taken responsibility to go forward. When they have paid the price of responsibility to be able to take ownership of themselves and of the situation, then you as leader, join in side by side with them. They have their roles and you have yours it becomes a Fellowship of specific role identified performance.

You continue working with the team, you build the team in skill, experience, purpose, desire and responsibility. They continue to increase their responsibility to a point where they are taking control of themselves and their destiny. They are in charge of driving themselves, the product and the result.

In one sense, it is almost like you have made yourself redundant. But as you and those you lead continue to work through the sequence and in the process, have now placed you as the leader in a position of leading from behind the team, Followership. However, even from a position behind the team you are watching their every move and at the same time, watching what is coming ahead, so that if you need to change your position for the benefit of all you can.

But for the time, you sit behind the team, you are a follower of the teams action, purpose, commitment and direction.

So although this is a brief overview of the concepts of Leadership, Fellowship and Followership, I would hope that you can see as I said at the outset, that no one position is more important that the other. But where you sit with the team will be dependant upon an variety of situations, needs and influences.

The right place to sit when selected correctly, will bring with it a corresponding level of leadership effectiveness.

Don’t be frightened to develop the team to a point of independence, as in my belief when you have done this, you will be at your greatest level of your leadership effectiveness, that is; you have made those you lead independent of you.

The Journey Continues!

This month’s question is:

As a leader when things get tough, what are some of the things I should be focussing on?

I will answer this from three different perspectives:

1. As an Organisation

a. Don’t tread water
When tough times come the usual focus and talk is to ‘batten down the hatches’ and ride through the tough times. Great organisations show their true point of difference in times where others struggle.

Their attitude, beliefs and preparedness show they are not prepared to be a victim of uncertain times and are willing and prepared to take on the responsibility to be a master of their own destiny.

They continue to market themselves, their product or services, what they do and how they do it. They, whilst watching the budget, continue to look at product development, market and product research, staff training and up-skilling, organisational productivity and efficiency.

In tough times great organisations have a desire and preparedness to continue to move forward and upward.

b. Know the opposition
Your focus should always be on your team or organisation, however it is in tough times when you really should know what the opposition are doing.

In tough times some will flourish, some will survive, and others will perish. Without trying to sound like a vulture waiting to feast on the carcase of those that perish, however the reality is there are opportunities to be taken if you know what is going on around you.

As others struggle there will be (without being totally ruthless) opportunities for you to prosper. As times change and things become more difficult some of your competitors will be looking to retain their best clients and their best staff, and although what is left in their mind might not be the best, this does not mean that what isn’t their best cannot be of benefit to you and your team or organisation.

c. Show loyalty
Tough times demand tough decisions. Usually in a business sense, some of these tough decisions are of a financial nature and without sounding like I am saying ‘go against sound financial judgements’, don’t just make your future and tenure secure by cutting back on everything and anything.

As tough as it is for you, remember there are others that are relying on you, your team or your organisation.

Show some loyalty and help others through these tough times as well. Show loyalty to your customers; show loyalty to your staff, team members and those around you. Show loyalty to your suppliers, sponsors and the like.

But the key to loyalty in tough times is to pay it forward. Don’t wait for others to show it to you, show it to them first and enjoy every moment of doing it. This level and timing of loyalty more than any marketing that you can ever do will show what you are really about.

And although it should not be your primary reason for doing it, your loyalty will be noticed by others and in doing so, your loyalty will be repaid in many different ways.

d. Misery loves company
Just because things are getting tough and everyone around you thinks the sky is falling, doesn’t mean that you have to join in and share their point of view. But on the other hand don’t see the world through rose coloured glasses either.

Things are the way they are and the most important consideration here is how you are going to deal with what is going on around you. You as an organisation can chose to believe things are either good or bad. You as an organisation can choose to have either a positive or a negative outlook. You as an organisation through your thinking, choices and action will choose whether in these tough times you are going to flourish, survive, or perish.

But as you are deciding remember misery loves company.

e. Use the mirror rather than the window
Many times when things get tough there is a preparedness to sit inside and look out the window and think that the reasons why as an organisation you are struggling is because of what you see outside.

Great organisations have a philosophy when things are tough to look in the mirror before they ever even consider looking out the window.

Don’t ever take responsibility for that which is not yours to take, however the more you realise that you as an organisation have a role to play in why things are the way they are, then you will continue to not only survive in tough times but you will undoubtedly flourish.

f. Awareness and adaptability
One of the key aspects to getting through tough times is the ability to recognise what is actually going on around you and why. Factual evidence, experienced based insight, accurate qualified awareness.

Once you are aware as an organisation of what is actually taking place around you, you will then know how, where and why you will need to adapt and make changes to allow you to continue progressing through the tough times.

The type, level and accuracy of the read will be a paramount to what success you can hope to expect. However on the other hand, your ability to recognise where, why and how you will need to change and adapt will also have a huge influence on that desired success.

Once again great teams, organisations and individuals all have that ability to recognise where they need to adapt but also share in the skill of not procrastinating and hoping things around them will change, therefore removing the need for them to change. They have that innate ability to adapt and change in a timely manner and as they do, they leave behind both the opposition and the stress associated with tough times.

2. As A Leader:

a. Be visible
One of the worst mistakes you can make at a time like this is not to be seen. Now it doesn’t really matter why. You can justify this by saying you are in a strategy meeting or you are doing this or that or you are attending to something urgent.

When things slow down, the people that are with you and around you, want to see and hear their leader every single day and, in most cases, more than once a day.

An unreasonable request? Absolutely not!

b. Control outer emotions and deal with inner ones
When things slow down and are not going the way you would like, there is usually a corresponding set of emotions that comes into play.

Anguish, nervousness, lack of confidence, anger, frustration, and resentment - all of these and many more are quite common at these times.

The key is to deal with these internal emotions. Get some advice, another perspective, new information; create opportunities and methodology to deal with your inner emotions and make sure you do it away from the scene that is causing them.

Do what you have to do, but make sure you do not just leave these emotions be. Deal with your inner emotions and make sure they do not transform themselves into outer emotions.

You know, the outer emotions that are represented by the snappy reply, the over-reaction to little things, the body language of a stressed individual, and the facial expressions of a worried person.

Silently deal with your inner emotions and outwardly you show the emotion and body language of a leader who knows how to deal with adversity.

c. Be relentless in going back to the basics
Whatever you do, don’t try and rectify the situation by making the solution look difficult. It is at these times that simplicity is your greatest ally.

Many times a situation will look as though it requires an intricate solution; but in reality, it is the basic steps everyone knows that will usually lead you to where you need to be. Don’t fall for the trap of believing that details and intricacy means success.

Once you have looked at all the basic steps, and you realise that no matter how you look at it, this situation calls for a solution that is a little more intricate, then break it down and make it look basic.

If you can’t make it simple then make it easy to understand.

d. Don’t let pride get in the way of making the right decisions
Of course when the tough times come, there will be a level of both responsibility and accountability directed your way. That is the way it should be. But don’t let you get in the way of the best way to go forward.

Make decisions that are in the best interest of all and not about what is in your best interests. Those that you lead will respect you a whole lot more when they see you put your pride away and make a decision that is there to benefit others.

e. Communicate more
Keep people informed as to what is going on and why. Continue to let people know what you are doing and why. Remember when the though times come, it brings with it a great deal of uncertainty.

That uncertainty can be about many things:
• Future direction
• Survival strategy
• Security of tenure
• Element and degree of change

It is at these times as a leader you can bring great relief and security to those that you lead. Communication is a great way to clarify direction, alleviate fear and revive and redirect motivation.

3. As A Team:

a. Redefine purpose, goals and standards
Without dropping the standard or compromising the expectation taking the team through the exercise of redefining purpose, goals, standards and the like can be a very beneficial exercise.

For one reason it should help get everyone back on the same page and heading in the same direction. I said should, but not always; so do expect this exercise to come with a level of work if you really want it to make a difference.

Second advantage in redefining purpose, goals, and standards is that it gives everyone in the team and opportunity to see what the future will be like and why they are heading in the direction they are.

b. Clarify roles, responsibilities & expectations
For similar reasons as above clarifying roles and standards lets each individual once again understand what they are about and what is expected of them.

So we have brought clarity to the team through redefining purpose, goals and standards and them through working with the individual, we have helped them see what their role is in all of this and then what is expected of them.

c. Communicate more and better
When things get tough it is not unusual to withdraw into our own world and to start to think irrationally. As a team you do the complete opposite, by communicating more often. Don’t sit around and whine about how things are sit down and communicate how things will be. Use the communication process to provide clarity, sense of belonging and an air of confidence.

d. Recognise understand and respect difference
People deal with adversity in different ways. As a team understand this and work to help each other in the way that is required to get everyone through the adversity. Difference does not mean that you grow apart as the tough times come. Difference will be, if you allow it to and drive it in the correct manner will be the thing that brings your team together.

e. Show what being a team mate is all about
As hard as it is for you, chances are someone is struggling with things more than you. Don’t make it about you at this time, make it about them.

The Journey Continues!

I am quite sure that we all recognise that the element of change is a regular part of everyday life.

Therefore through answering this month’s question of:

Something around change management - and breaking through resistance to change.

I hopefully will be able to provide some information that will be able to be used in a diversity ways.

So to be begin with I would imagine that you have heard the saying ‘change only comes out of necessity’? The foundation to this statement is based on the fact that necessity is either externally demanded or internally generated. Change either comes from drastic actions or an evolutionary adjustment or adaptation.

The one thing to remember as you go about dealing with change, is that it is happening around you in more areas than you probably care to imagine and in many facets of life. What was the norm yesterday will no longer be relevant tomorrow. (Think about that computer you bought last year?)

Therefore your ability to deal with change has a huge bearing on how change will be addressed and handled within all aspects of your organisation.

Studies have shown that it is not necessarily bad ideas or technology that are to blame for the failure of change but more often than not, it is the human element that is the cause of failure associated with the concept of change.

The first aspect to know and understand is; will those around you be masters of change or slaves of change? Those that decide to be masters of change will work hard to make sure that the implementation of change is a positive experience for all who are touched by it.

Where as on the other hand, those that fight the process of change usually end up becoming a slave to change. By this I mean, that they are constantly held back because they continue to fight change, and in most cases for all the wrong reasons.

In many instances the acceptance of the process of change is dependant upon those affected by the change having trust in those that are introducing and are responsible for leading the team or the organisation through the element of change.

The steps of change:

6. Ownership
5. Commitment
4. Desire
3. Understanding
2. Reluctance
1. Fear

The six steps above represent the evolutionary process associated with the acceptance of change.

1. Fear

In many cases change has an ability to promote the emotion of fear. That fear is usually generated because of the fact that:

a. Those involved do not understand the reason for change or the benefits of the change.

b. Those associated with the change do not believe in the leaders ability to deal with the element of change.

c. Those affected by the element of change don’t have a great deal of confidence in themselves to be able to operate under the direction or conditions that come about because of the change.

2. Reluctance

After the initial emotion of fear has been removed by a better understanding of the impending change. Those affected by change begin to look at how they will be affected. Regardless of wether the level of affect is small or large the reaction is usually the same.

Most people do not like change or what it brings and therefore the initial, almost non-conscious response is one of reluctance. However once the questions of:

WIFM – What’s in it for me?
WTA- What’s their agenda?
AIGS – Am I getting screwed?

Have been answered to a positive conclusion then the reluctance will correspondingly begin to dissipate.

3. Understanding

By the time the third stage has been reached, those affected by the change will have overcome their initial fears, they will have realised there is no need to be reluctant to the process of change.

The reason being is that they have a greater and more extensive understanding of the theory, rationale and benefit associated with the change.

Sometimes this elevated understanding will come from a communication and follow up from those driving the change. But more likely the acceptance will come about because for numerous self-generated reasons they have brought about an increased understanding of the change.

4. Desire

Because those affected by the change can now see the benefits of the change and hopefully, not just as it benefits them. Although in many cases the level of acceptance will be dependant upon the level of individual benefit.

They will have an increased desire to see the change implemented and the benefits generated.

5. Commitment

Once the desire is there to see the process of change implemented there is a corresponding commitment to both the process associated to that implementation and also a huge commitment to the outcomes that hopefully the change will deliver.

6. Ownership

Because of many reasons, overall benefit being the main one, by the time those affected by the element of change have worked their way through the evolutionary process and have reached stage six, they have an ownership to both the process of the change, but more importantly an ownership towards the results the change will bring.

It is ironic that the most influential step (ownership) in the ability for change to be successful and to generate success is the last one.

But the important thing to remember here is that there is no specific timeline associated with this evolutionary process. As a leader the quicker you can take those you lead, without missing any steps of the evolutionary process, the quicker the benefits of the change will be realised.

Ultimately though the acceptance of change is dependant upon the mindset of the individual.

As I said earlier there are two different forms of change:

1. Change that is communicated to you
2. Change that is communicated by you

Change other than self generated change usually brings with it it’s own set of stress. Change is one of the major causes of stress. Stress is not from the change itself but from our reaction to it.

Many times that stress is caused because most people react to change as though the change is directed at them personally. We are habitual by nature and therefore any change that is put to us affects our habits that in turn, create in us a negative mindset that the change is personal.

However the much needed positive mindset can and will be influenced at times by external forces that allow you to see certain benefits, therefore allowing you to more easily adapt to the practicalities of the change.

There is a series of Peaks and Troughs that you go through in regard to the acceptance of change:

The most important position for the mindset of the individual in the acceptance of the need to change is that you do not know it all and you do not have it all. Get this part right and the process of change might not be easy but it will be easier.

Here are some of my observations in how people deal with change:

• Most people change just enough to get away from their problems, but not enough to solve them.

• Most people want to change their circumstance to improve their life, rather than changing themselves to improve their circumstances.

• Most people change because they feel the pain and not because they see the benefit.

• Most people do not like having to pay the price associated with change. They are not that thrilled with what the change might bring, but they absolutely detest the price required to bring the change about.

• Most people look upon change as an uncomfortable thing that has to be done rather than a beneficial thing that can be done.

• For most, how they view change and everything associated with it will determine how successful that change will be.

The Journey Continues!

There is distinct difference between being nervous about a performance, presentation, meeting or a situation and being anxious to a point of uncontrollable fear based emotion.

Nervousness prior to an event is just a sign that what you are about to encounter is something that is meaningful for you, nothing more nothing less.

However the feeling of significance is a benefit only to the point where it does not force you to change your focus or beliefs. By this I mean, the level of nervousness is such that is still allows you to maintain a clarity of focus on what needs to be done and to maintain a level of belief in yourself or in others who are involved.

However this month’s question of:

How do I deal with the anxiety I get?

Is one where there are any number of factors that need to be considered to provide a true and accurate strategy to go forward with.

You can deal with anxiety in two different ways:

1. Preparation
You do what you can well before so that the chances of anxiety being created are minimized.

2. Coping
If anxiety does come about, you have a set of strategies that allow you to deal with it then and there.

And as important it is to have the coping strategies, I would suggest that you prepare in a way that removes almost any chance of anxiety being witnessed as you go about doing what you have to do.

But as neither way of dealing with anxiety should be ruled out, we will break this up into two parts. Today we will work on the preparation side of things.

I will attempt to give you five areas to consider in regard to dealing with anxiety prior to it happening.

1. What is the cause of the angst

In essence the initial focus should be to discover what is the cause of the anxiety.

• Fear of success
• Fear of failure
• Fear of change
• Fear of getting out of your comfort zone
• Fear of non acceptance

In my experiences high levels of anxiety are usually formed because of the desire for the attainment of a particular outcome e.g. Can we really with this game? Can I fulfill my role? Am I better than my opposition? Am I going to perform well today?

You see the problem is that we focus on something, that in reality, we have little or no control over, the outcome, e.g. Winning. Beating the opposition. But this does not mean that getting what we want is out of our control, it just means we are focusing on the wrong thing.

It is very important to understand this point. We may not have absolute control over an outcome, but we do have control over the process or what it will take to get the job done.

So my first pieces of advice would be to first understand what is causing the anxiety and second, to start focusing on the process or what it will take for you to succeed rather than the outcome itself.

2. Know where your confidence comes from

In my opinion confidence is very personal emotion. That is that confidence can be stimulated and stifled by any number of particular means. However, one of the key drivers of confidence is demonstrated ability.

Generally speaking for most people knowing what you have done in the past will help you have confidence in what you have to do in the future.

And when I say that, I don’t mean just because you have beaten a team last time you played that you should be overly confidence to beat them again.

However if you have practised and prepared well in each and every area that can and will have an affect on the outcome, then you should have a certain confidence to do well. Remember your levels of success will be a direct reflection of your levels of preparation.

The other thing to identify with, is that you don’t always have to have confidence in doing something you have never done before. Like achieving an outcome you have never achieved before.

But because of your levels of preparation, you should have confidence in yourself and those around you, that you can do the things that you have identified as the key drivers of optimal performance. That is, that you can successfully implement and complete certain strategies, plays and options that when completed successfully, will have you well on your way to achieving your overall outcome.

3. Practise dealing with fear

The reason the levels of anxiety continue to rise is because you become fearful of what the result might be. And rather than learning how to deal with that feeling, most people do what they can to avoid it or not to have the fear in the first place, by not putting themselves in the position where that fear can be aroused.

Unfortunately, due to a combination of themselves and the situation most continue to find the fear coming at them in a number of different ways and never really learn how to operate when they are fearful.

My advice, well an idea from a great friend of mine (Graeme Alford) is practise being fearful, practise being out of your comfort zone.

By this, I mean think about some things that make you feel a bit uncomfortable and start putting yourself in those positions. This is what we call comfort zone exercises. And I would suggest you have and have one short term and one long-term comfort zone exercises going at once. I don’t know what you might feel uneasy about doing so, it is hard to make suggestions but bear with me and we will see how we go.

Short Term:

• No coffee for a week
• No desert after dinner
• No chocolate
• Give up alcohol and cigarettes for a period
• Have lunch with work colleagues you don’t particularly get on with
• Take a toastmaster’s course and MC the annual work Christmas party
• Take singing lessons and start practising the national anthem
• Take a high speed driving course
• Don’t eat until you are hungry. No I mean really hungry
• Wear clothes for a short period that are not really you
• Take diving, caving or learn to fly classes

Long Term

• Take public transport to work for one year
• Exercise three times per week 30 mins each time for a year
• Sit on the committee of you local sporting club for a season
• Be a volunteer at a local homeless shelter
• Get out of bed 1 hour earlier each day
• Walk to work for a year
• Drink nothing but water for a year
• Enrol in an education course that you know you are not strong in
• 1 hour each week for one year, do something you do not like to do

You see it doesn’t really matter what you do, just as long as you become a bit fearful when you think about doing it, or you become fearful of what others might think about you doing it.

The key to overcoming your fear or anguish is to put yourself in this position where you learn the skill of being able to do what you need to, when you are fearful.

The other great benefit in doing this little exercise is that as you do these different activities, you will soon realise that you are a lot better than what you give yourself credit for and the reality is that you really have nothing to be fearful of.

4. Stop worrying about what others might think

I would imagine that some of the anxiety might come form the situation where you become concerned about what others might think about, what you do and how you do it.

Now the first thing to contemplate here is that this scenario should only come into play when you think about particular individuals you know that have the experience and understanding to make relevant and insightful judgment calls on you, what you do and how you do it. e.g. team mates, coaches, leaders etc.

The rest that want to pass judgment you should work hard to not worry about.

But you shouldn’t get anxious about filling the expectations of those that you know have the experience, the skill and the awareness to make judgment call in regard to you.

The reality should be that your expectation about you and your levels of performance should be higher than anyone else’s expectations.

Your expectations on you should be based on what you know to be true, through how you have prepared, through the skill you possess, through the commitment, desire and discipline you continue to show.

If you have prepared properly, your expectations will be in most cases a lot higher than what anyone else’s will be, therefore the level of expectations from others no longer become a problem.

The other thing here is to make sure you utilise the observations and awareness of others. Bring together a small group of people that you respect and have experience to be able to give you open and honest feedback on you, your preparation and ultimately your performance.

I know it is not always easy to take feedback, especially when it is not really what you want to hear. But know that you are never going to get better with everyone telling you that you did a great job and everything you did was on the money.

So don’t be fearful of someone telling you that was ordinary look at that information as great insight and something that is going to allow you to be better next time.

5. Understand failure is part of the journey of success

Think about anyone you deem to be successful. Not everything they have done was successful. They sometimes throw a bad pass, missed a goal dropped the ball, made a wrong decision, hired the wrong person etc.

Most successful people realise that failure is somewhere, sometime and somehow going to happen. They do what they can to make sure it doesn’t, but they know that chances are that in some way failure will raise its ugly head. But they also understand this critical point; that failure is allowing them to be one step closer to success.

They don’t necessarily want failure to happen but when it does, it is no big deal. Why? Because they demand a lot of themselves and they know sometime they might push a bit hard and therefore they will fail. However, they don’t see this a failing. They view this as a learning experience.

Failure only becomes a negative if we don’t learn from it.

So as you can see, dealing with anxiety is about dealing with issues well and truly before you are in the situation from where the anxiety can be created.

Like most things in life anxiety is a work in progress and different people, situations, results and expectations will have a different affect on different people all for different reasons.

Hopefully though by working through what we have outlined, when you find yourself in these types of situations, you maybe become a little nervous and hopefully not much else.

The Journey Continues!

Inspiration is an interesting phenomenon. Sometimes you are aware of either the opportunity and/or your ability to inspire someone, whereas in other areas you are an inspiration for people you have never met.

Some people choose to be an inspiration or at least are thrown into a circumstance where they need to be an inspiration and through either one of these situations attempt to exhibit certain traits; behaviours and attitudes that they anticipate will be inspirational for others.

On the other hand others will just get on with life and through what they do and how they do it will inspire others to greater levels of personal and professional success, satisfaction and pride.

Therefore this month’s question of:

How do I inspire others?

Is one where the answer can involve any number of different facets, attitudes, circumstances and situations? I will attempt to give you a brief insight to a number of my key considerations.

1. Don’t over rely on external means

I don’t know how many times I have been asked to present to a group, with the expectation being that through a 45 min talk inspire them to greatness for the next 12 months or so. Now I like to think I am reasonably good at what I do, but the reality is that me or anyone else for that matter will not through one 45min presentation be able to inspire anyone over a prolonged period of time.

The other area that I continue to see teams, organisations and leaders over rely on is Mission/Vision statements. Like most things other individuals, presentations, situations and writings will to a certain degree inspire people. However if you develop a Mission/Vision statement to put it in a nice frame and hang it in the meeting room or displaying it on everyone’s coffee mug and in the process expect it to be powerful enough to inspire greatness then you will in most cases be bitterly disappointed.

Now I am not saying that you shouldn’t do these things but what I am saying is don’t over rely on these or similar situations to be the main source of inspiration for those around you. At best they will be reminders or triggers to certain aspects that could have an ability to inspire.

2. Use your greatest resources

There are three resources that you have right now that can play a very significant role in aiding the inspiration of others.

a. You
Once again never underestimate the affect you have on those around you. But remember this applies both positively and negatively. What you do, how you do it. And how often you do it will determine to what degree and in what ways you inspire others.

Validation of feelings is the greatest accolade we can afford another person. Spend time with others and in doing so show them their true worth, simply by highlighting how good they are and how they are good. Through this interaction you will provide them with a key source of inspiration.

b. Team
The team of individuals around the person seeking inspiration will have an opportunity to play a considerable role in the level and significance of that inspiration. Once again simply by being themselves, doing what they are required to do and looking after those around them will inspire other individuals to do the same.

When we see greatness, success and unselfish behaviour in others it does have an ability to inspire the pursuit of greatness and success for ourselves.
To help inspire others understand and utilise the circle of influence that sits around them. That is know the people that inspire them and why and where appropriate utilise that resource to help inspire the individual you are looking to help.

c. Environment/Culture
If the environment is right inspiration will flow and flow at a great rate. If there is a sense of purpose, a preparedness to get on with the job, a feeling of camaraderie, and sense of pride in what they do and how you they it, chances are most will be inspired to bring their A game to the arena every day.

The environment/culture around the individual will either help or hinder the process of inspiration. Create and culture and an environment that will provide inspiration to all who are associated with it.

3. Inspiration can come from within

In the August edition of The Full Nelson I wrote:

Where do you draw inspiration?

What is it that, when you see it or hear it, gets the adrenalin flowing?

What aspect of human endeavour causes you to be motivated?

What aspects of life cause your skin to tingle?

I want you to think about the answers to these questions and think about them carefully. It is important that you know the answers to these and other similar questions.

But as we have some time while you think about the answers to those questions, if I may, let me ask you another:

Do you ever recognise that things that you have done also inspire, motivate and fire up others who witness them?

Chances are that the humility within you will stop you from being honest here; but I really think it is important that you recognise these aspects of self, that you sometimes look for from others.

Now from my perspective, the two main reasons that you do not always recognise the significant achievements in your life are:

(1) Because they’re about you and perhaps you don’t see what you do or how you do it as anything special; and

(2) As a first time witness, you don’t usually get the exhilaration of seeing the finished product or end result.

It is great that you can find aspects of life from which you draw inspiration motivation and purpose. But as you do, never discount the things you do and how you do them. Don’t ever miss the opportunity to be true to your standards and self, but at the same time never sell yourself short.

If it is OK for others to draw the inspiration and motivation from you, but it is also OK for you to draw inspiration and motivation from the same source.

Now this is not about ego or being full of your own self-importance, or thinking you are better than you are. It is about taking the time and, in the right way, recognising the things that you have done and how well you have done them.

Recognise the things that you have done and done well — the things that have made a difference to your life and no doubt a difference to the lives of those around you. As you do take that step back to recognise all things good that have your footprint on them.

4. Create clarity of purpose

Not as in why they need to be inspired. But more along the lines of how they will be inspired.

As a coach one of my main ambitions and focus was to work with the people I was around to identify a sense of purpose, a set of goals and a set of achievements that they would take great pride in pursuing and achieving.

However I don’t think inspiration will come from the intricacy of a plan, or the identification of a goal. But I do think that the significance of achievement of goals or prospect of reaching the heights to which one aspires will create some level of inspiration, but not necessarily prolonged inspiration.

Outcome, goals achievements. What you get from them, what you become by the pursuit of them will all lead to a certain level of inspiration?

Purpose if identified properly. Purpose if understood correctly. Purpose with true significance will provide inspiration each and everyday simply because that purpose provides the gravity behind what is done, the standard to which it is done, the respect gained through what is achieved, and what will be accomplished each and everyday.

So as I said earlier there are a thousand and one ways you can help inspire others, however before any of it has a chance of working the person must be positioned the be an active participant in the process of going forward. But through some of the things we have outlined and through some of the ideas you have you will soon have those around you moving forward in the excursion of life.

The Journey Continues!

This month’s question:

What is the right balance of head, heart and guts as a decision maker?

I know what I am about to run through will look like I am not prepared to give a definitive answer to a great question. I don’t want it to look that way, but too some it might. The reason being; that in my opinion there is no set standard of balance between Head, Heart and Guts when it comes to decision making or anything else for that matter.

However, I do believe it is important that all three become part of any decision making process. Ultimately though, the right balance will depend upon many different considerations.

Considerations such:
The situation
The outcome
The influences
Available information
Level of risk

On the other side of the ledger you would need to consider:
Your personality
Your leadership style
Your vision and focus
Your experience
Your levels of understanding
Your past decision making process

As you can see there are numerous factors that would need to be considered in the process or structure of your decision-making. However, there is also an opportunity, and in many cases, a real and relevant need to include the aspects of Head, Heart and Guts.

Now with that stated, I would also suggest the idea of a weighted scale that allows you to use all three elements of Head, Heart and Guts, but to what amount of each would depend upon the appropriateness of each area, as their relevance, significance and appropriateness will vary from decision to decision.

The reality is that you will operate from a different perspective in your decision making depending on a wide a variety of considerations, not to mention pressures, levels of clarity, understanding and information processing. One cannot use the same style of decision making every day. The need for diversity of approach changes moment-to-moment, situation-to-situation, and decision-to-decision.

We can always do better as decision makers, whether it is professionally or personally. But as you continue to develop yourself, your thinking, your understanding, and therefore your decision-making, it is vitally important to stay true to yourself.

Each and every decision you make must have your DNA attached. It should be easy for anyone influenced by the decisions you make to see you in how the decision has been reached and why.

They may not always agree with your decision, but their level of unease is somewhat reduced, simply because they can see your consistency of approach in the decision that has been made and through the process that led you to the decision.

As a leader of people, each and everyday you will be placed in the position of chief decision maker and those decisions need to be made based on some type of criteria.

Many times that criteria is developed through your past experiences, it is aided by a system or structure, or it can be helped by the information you have available.

I would also suggest emotion to some degree will be involved in your decision-making procedure.

The skill is not to remove or ignore the emotion, but to truly understand the level of emotion involved and its ability to influence you.

You should have a sense of understanding about you and your tendencies towards the emotional aspects of decision-making. That understanding at the very least is to guard against your own worst tendencies.

Let’s look at it this way. If you’re over optimistic, you’re likely to gloss over the threat of things going wrong. If you’re pessimistic, you might have a tendency to dwell on the negatives. And if you’re greedy, you might be so tempted by potential rewards, that you overlook risk altogether.

Probe the basis of your belief. We often make decisions based upon our assumptions, be prepared to test those assumptions against the reality of the situation. Test your opinions by looking for information that challenges your beliefs, rather than looking for information that supports your opinions.

Be prepared to look at your areas of expertise, your beliefs and your philosophies, and honestly assess the restrictions. Search for examples. Identify situations or individuals that have faced a similar decision. Evaluate their experiences to better prepare for your own decision. Watch for over confidence in yourself and others when you venture outside your individual perspective.

If at all possible, do a partial test-run. By this I mean, create a scenario in line with your overall objective, but only do part of the overall decision just to see how it might unfold.

Within the process of making decisions, it is vitally important to look further than one step ahead and to also take into consideration all future options.

Continually and consistently search for new information or insight which may help you in the decision making process. As long as you know where to search for the relevant information - and can verify the accuracy of what you learn - you will be well positioned to see all sides of an issue and make a sensible judgment.

The most effective decisions flow from your ability to surmise the right information, to read the situation correctly and to ask the right person the right question at the right time.

You should also consider: What are the costs associated with this decision and are the benefits worth the cost?

We’ve all heard stories of leaders or we know someone that has for whatever reason, decided to take a rather large risk and from that action, have been able to deliver some outstanding results. Basically, they were willing to make bold decisions with no real understanding, if the outcome they were pursuing would ever be attained.

However, the reality is that most successful leaders take a balanced approach to risk. That is; they accept that risk is inherent, but they make a sharp distinction between calculated risk and careless risk.

They look at a couple of key areas to help them make the distinction, areas such as:

1. Identify the cost
You have to be clear about your viewpoint, theories and assumptions and think through the potential consequences of any decision you make. Ask yourself what could go wrong under any and all circumstances, both internally and externally, and then evaluate the potential effect and magnitude.

Before deciding, picture the expected outcomes of your decision and mentally forecast the ramifications of your chosen course of action.

2. Diversify your approach to reduce the risk
Without turning your back on any element of risk, make sure that you put the context of risk into the bigger picture. That way you can offset risky decisions, ventures, or initiatives with more predictable outcomes.

3. Know when, how and where to read the warning signs
Make a point of understanding, monitoring and analysing the aspects that a favourable outcome of your decision depends upon. Work hard to detect if things aren’t working, as you believe they should be.

Makes sure you have created a network of people that can help you monitor the situation or hold you accountable to the things you should be monitoring.

So hopefully from what we have outlined, you can see that there is a role for Head, Heart and Guts both individually and collectively in your decision making process. To what degree you use any or all of them, is a decision best left to you once you have considered they types of things we have just worked through.

The Journey Continues!

This months questions:

Bill, does it get easier?

Fundamentally my answer is hopefully, no it doesn’t.

Now hang on a second before you start having a major meltdown because of what I just outlined, please allow me a chance to explain myself.

The reality is it does get easier however I hope as ‘it’ (and ‘it’ can be whatever you want it to be) is getting easier you are continuing to push the limits, to explore new situations, taking the most of every opportunity and an ongoing commitment to seeing your potential realised, so that it probably doesn’t get that much easier.

It should never be easy. However it should to some degree and at certain times to some slight degree, get easier.

I say that based on the fact that as we face the challenges of life weather they be personal, professional, educational, or spiritual, we become better educated, better skilled, more knowledgeable, with greater insight, competence and efficiency.

No doubt there are times when we probably don’t see that we are making progress or that we are getting better and that things will never get easier. It is at these times when we must look at our situation and ourselves and change our perspective.

We can at these times either see a hole or a donut, the glass is either half full or half empty.

It all depends on how we, at these times, view the world, ourselves and the situation that stands in front of us.

Now I am not going to get into the law of attraction, or the concept of positive thinking (not that I have anything against either), but I in times, like these, always remember the words of one of my mentors Bill Sweetenham when he would tell me “You are getting experience that no-one else is.”

I must admit at the time due to the challenges, the trials and tribulations he had organised for me, I did find it hard to see the positive side of it, however he kept throwing me these situations and the line about experience and I somehow managed to get through each one. And in doing so, became further skilled, knowledgeable and increasingly better in dealing with my perspective and in the process how to handle the situations he presented to me.

In the early days of learning, it is sometimes hard to see that we will ever become truly competent to handle certain situations of life, however in my experience, we tend to travel through four (4) cycles of learning, development and competence.

Let me explain it to you like this:

4×1-2 Year Development Plan

Years 1-2/3
Usually many problems and situations. Usually you have 1-2 methods to fix the problem or overcome the situation, which allows you something like a 50-50 success rate.

Years 2/3-4/5
During this period you will have fewer problems and difficult situations to deal with. This is brought about by the skills and learning from your first cycle of development. However, this second stage of development is not totally devoid of testing times, difficult situations and stressful circumstances.

At these times you now have an expanded arsenal of problem solving, situation rectifying and difficulty resolving skills. Basically you will have 4-5 methods to fix or overcome the situations that sit before you. Therefore your rate of success begins to increase.

Years 4/5-6/7
This is probably one of those periods where things do get easier. The reasons being that you have very few if any problems. Why? Because you are now skilled enough to cut off the problems, circumvent the difficult situations before they even happen. Your success rate during this stage is very high.

Years 6/7 and onwards
Now we come to the interesting parts of the journey of self-development. Things kind of become easier in some ways, but not really. Once again let me explain.

There are problems, situations and pressure filled situations. The difference being this time you create them!

What I hear you say, ‘Bill have you lost your mind?’

I spend all my time becoming skilled enough to remove these situations and now I am creating them myself.

Why would I do that?

Easy.

You have become that skilled at your leadership, your problem solving skills, your situation rectifying abilities that you now create problems, situations and stress so you can use them to teach others how to deal with them.

So I know it is a long answer to a quick question, but my real answer is this. I would hope that it doesn’t get easier for you. Why? Because I would like you to continue to push the limits, to explore new situations, taking the most of every opportunity and in the process, you have an ongoing commitment to see your true potential realised.

The Journey Continues!

I will use today’s posting to continue to answer the questions I was asked as part of our 2006 annual newsletter survey.

The question was:

How can you help me become a more effective Leader/Manager?

It’s a great question. But one that is a little difficult to answer. Difficult simply because there are so many considerations that need to be taken into account, but let’s see what we can summarise for you.

1. What is Better?

Before we can even to begin working on the process of being better, we need to ascertain what is better?

Better as it relates to:
• Your role
• The needs of those you lead
• The levels of predefined outcomes
• What the competition is doing
• What your marketplace is about
• The culture within your team/organisation

So we first work hard to truly define and understand the needs of the position and then we start to look at how you stack up against that definition and understanding.

Once we have a better understanding of the needs of the position, we then start to look at the specifics of you and where you are at. Areas such as:

2. Philosophy of Leadership/Management

This is all about you and who you are as a Leader/Manager. What you are about, what you stand for, what you are prepared to stand up against.

These are insights of you that need to be defined, outlined, understood and evaluated.

Defined in as far as what are the qualities, values and standards that make up your style and philosophy as a Leader/Manager?

Outlined so that we know each area and what is the rationale behind each aspect. Understood so that we truly know them front to back and all points in between.

Evaluated in that we look at what you have. How it works for the situation you are involved with?

Then from that evaluation what we go forward with. What needs to be changed? What needs to be removed and what needs to be added?

All of this allows you to know you as a Leader/Manager and through this how you will do what you do and in doing so, allow those you lead/manage to know and understand you as a Leader/Manager.

Your philosophy will bring a consistency of approach to those you lead.

3. Where are you heading

Vision, plans, goals, strategies. We need to work out where you are heading, what is it you want/need to achieve.

Basically we break it down utilising the goal-setting model I outlined in an earlier posting.

Outcome-The what
Process-The how
Reason-The why

By going through this we identify a blueprint from which to work toward.

4. Influence

We take our time and pay due diligence to evaluate how it is you influence those you are entrusted to guide.

Is your influence there because:
• You are the boss
• You are a good person
• People trust you
• You coerce people into doing things
• People commit to you and where you are heading

There are many reasons why people will be influenced by those that are entrusted to lead/manage them. Some are more successful than others and this success could be for many reasons. Our job is to find out why and then how we can improve on how, why and when you influence those you lead/manage.

5. The person you are

You will be at your best when you are being you. We need to find out the person you really are.

What are you personal?
• Values
• Standards
• Ethics
• Morals
• Traits of Character

We make sure you are the person you think you should be and if not, we create a plan to start working towards the person you want to become.

But at the same time, we don’t make you into something you are not. We make sure we are making the best that you can be and at the same time, we develop confidence in you to be you.

So that is a quick five-point insight to some of the areas that I would work with you on to allow you to become a better Leader/Manager.

But as final comment, remember:

Leadership is what you do with somebody, not what you do to somebody. It is not about you it is about the people you lead. So there would be an entirely other set of considerations we would need to outline, understand and evaluate.

The Journey Continues!