In the January 1st edition of our newsletter The Full Nelson, I asked the question of:

What is going to be your approach to 2008?

And I based this question around the age-old fable of the Hare and the Tortoise.

A hare one day ridiculed the short feet and slow pace of the Tortoise, who replied, laughing, “Though you be swift as the wind, I will beat you in a race.”

The Hare, believing his assertion to be simply impossible, assented to the proposal; and they agreed that the Fox should choose the course and fix the goal.

On the day appointed for the race, the two started together. The Tortoise never for a moment stopped, but went on with a slow but steady pace straight to the end of the course.

The Hare, lying down by the wayside, fell fast asleep. At last waking up, and moving as fast as he could, he saw the Tortoise had reached the goal, and was comfortably dozing after his fatigue.

The moral of the story?

Slow and steady wins the race.

From that story I then asked the following:

Are you going to come out of the blocks at a thousand miles an hour as you pursue your goals and New Year’s resolutions with a whole heap of excitement and motivation?

If you are, please make sure you don’t fall asleep half way through the year because of either fatigue or boredom.

Or …

Are you going to begin and end the journey of the next 366 (Leap Year) days following the philosophy of the tortoise — Slow and steady wins the race?

As a follow up to that article, I want to share with you the following insight to the ongoing relationship of the Hare and the Tortoise.

The Journey Continues!

The Hare and the Tortoise-Part 2:
The hare was disappointed at losing the race and he did some soul-searching. He realised that he’d lost the race only because he had been overconfident, careless, and lax. If he had not taken things for granted, there’s no way the tortoise could have beaten him. So, he challenged the tortoise to another race.

The tortoise agreed.

This time, the hare went all out and ran without stopping from start to finish. He won by several miles.

The moral of the story?

Fast and consistent will always beat the slow and steady. It’s good to be slow and steady; but it’s better to be fast and reliable.

However the journey still continues:

The Hare and the Tortoise-Part 3:
The tortoise did some thinking this time, and realised that there’s no way he can beat the hare in a race the way it was currently formatted. He thought for a while, and then challenged the hare to another race, but on a slightly different route.

The hare agreed.

The tortoise and hare started off. In keeping with his self-made commitment to be consistently fast, the hare took off and ran at top speed until he came to a broad river. The finishing line was a couple of kilometres on the other side of the river.

The hare sat there wondering what to do. In the meantime, the tortoise trundled along, got into the river, swam to the opposite bank, continued walking, and finished the race.

The moral of the story?

First identify your core competency and then change the playing field to suit your core competency.

However, the story still has not ended and the journey continues.

The Hare and the Tortoise-Part 4
The tortoise and hare, by this time, had become pretty good friends and they did some thinking together. Both realised that the last race could have been run much better. So the tortoise and hare decided to do the last race again, but to run as a team this time.

They started off, and this time the hare carried the tortoise till the riverbank. There, the tortoise took over and swam across with the hare on his back. On the opposite bank, the hare again carried the tortoise and they reached the finishing line together. Both the tortoise and hare felt a greater sense of satisfaction than they’d felt earlier.

The moral of the story?

It’s good to be individually brilliant and to have strong core competencies; but unless you’re able to work in a team and harness each other’s core competencies, you’ll always perform below par because there will always be situations at which you’ll do poorly and someone else does well.

The Journey Continues!

This month’s question is:

Are there a series of steps I can take to improve my levels of personal success?

This is one question that I get asked quite often? And to be honest, it is a question that can be answered in a variety of ways, all of which would be probably correct in their teachings.

What I am going to outline is series of steps and considerations that I believe will go a long way in helping you develop your success, but developing it from a solid base and in a specific order of advancement.

We will start with the foundation and work our way up:

1. Personal

Our foundation for your success is based on the key elements that make you who you are or who you want to be.

Areas such as:
• Values
• Morals
• Ethics
• Standards
• Principles
• Character

All of these have significant role to play in either helping you identify who you are and what you are about, or they become a guidance mechanism towards what you should do and how you should do it.

These elements help identify who you are, what you stand for and what you are prepared to stand up against. Without them your success or future will have no significant foundation from which to grow.

2. Technical

With each and every aspect of life there is a certain skill set that will be necessary to see your success eventuate. Obviously the element of experience will have significant impact. Both general life experience and specific experience related to what you are pursuing. The great thing about experience, is that it is work in motion and that motion can either be slowed or accelerated, depending on the person involved and their desire to increase their levels of experience.

Other technical factors could include:
• Skills
• Knowledge
• Ability
• Aptitude

3. Knowledge

Knowledge is a very broad subject as like experience, there is both specific and general knowledge. But for the perspective of developing success, your knowledge should be based around the areas of:
• Direction
• Goals
• Understanding
• Expectation
• Resource

4. Vision

The elements of vision once again can be diverse, with each having a significant role in the development of your success. And although similar in some respects, there are also some differences that make each area equally important.

Aspects such as:
• Visualisation
• Imagery
• Insight
• Awareness

Should all be considered when looking at the development of this stage of your ladder of success?

5. Psychology

When the subject of psychology comes up in discussion, about its place in performance, more often than not, the discussion soon moves to the subject of motivation and although motivation is a critical component, there are other components that are equally important.

Areas such as:
• Attitude
• Mindset
• Belief

6. Resolve

I believe it would be a safe bet to say that your success or the pursuit of it is not going to be smooth and consistent journey. There will be times when you question the goals you have set yourself, you will question your ability, you will ponder the price, you have to pay to see your success realised and it is at these times, you will need a set of qualities that highlight your level of personal resolve.

Qualities such as:
• Focus
• Attention
• Concentration
• Application

7. Obedience

The next step in the ladder of success that I see as being important is the skill of obedience.

And when I say obedience I say it in the context of:
• Discipline
• Commitment
• Dedication
• Perseverance

8. Emotional Control

The last rung on the ladder of success is the skill of emotional control. The ability to deal with external factors that if you allow them, can and will have a huge negative impact on you and therefore, your ability to reach the levels of success you are pursuing.

When you think about the areas of emotional control you should consider start with these:
• Fear
• Anxiety
• Conflict
• Obstacles

Obviously, there are many more considerations you should contemplate as you go about developing your levels of success. What I have outlined in the Ladder of Success is a set of factors that I believe are paramount in the pursuit of success, no matter what the definition of success is. They are outline in an order that will build your success in the right chronological order.

But regardless of whether you choose to build your success on the principles I have outlined, or you choose a completely different method remember:

The Journey Continues!

I am quite sure that we all recognise that the element of change is a regular part of everyday life.

Therefore through answering this month’s question of:

Something around change management - and breaking through resistance to change.

I hopefully will be able to provide some information that will be able to be used in a diversity ways.

So to be begin with I would imagine that you have heard the saying ‘change only comes out of necessity’? The foundation to this statement is based on the fact that necessity is either externally demanded or internally generated. Change either comes from drastic actions or an evolutionary adjustment or adaptation.

The one thing to remember as you go about dealing with change, is that it is happening around you in more areas than you probably care to imagine and in many facets of life. What was the norm yesterday will no longer be relevant tomorrow. (Think about that computer you bought last year?)

Therefore your ability to deal with change has a huge bearing on how change will be addressed and handled within all aspects of your organisation.

Studies have shown that it is not necessarily bad ideas or technology that are to blame for the failure of change but more often than not, it is the human element that is the cause of failure associated with the concept of change.

The first aspect to know and understand is; will those around you be masters of change or slaves of change? Those that decide to be masters of change will work hard to make sure that the implementation of change is a positive experience for all who are touched by it.

Where as on the other hand, those that fight the process of change usually end up becoming a slave to change. By this I mean, that they are constantly held back because they continue to fight change, and in most cases for all the wrong reasons.

In many instances the acceptance of the process of change is dependant upon those affected by the change having trust in those that are introducing and are responsible for leading the team or the organisation through the element of change.

The steps of change:

6. Ownership
5. Commitment
4. Desire
3. Understanding
2. Reluctance
1. Fear

The six steps above represent the evolutionary process associated with the acceptance of change.

1. Fear

In many cases change has an ability to promote the emotion of fear. That fear is usually generated because of the fact that:

a. Those involved do not understand the reason for change or the benefits of the change.

b. Those associated with the change do not believe in the leaders ability to deal with the element of change.

c. Those affected by the element of change don’t have a great deal of confidence in themselves to be able to operate under the direction or conditions that come about because of the change.

2. Reluctance

After the initial emotion of fear has been removed by a better understanding of the impending change. Those affected by change begin to look at how they will be affected. Regardless of wether the level of affect is small or large the reaction is usually the same.

Most people do not like change or what it brings and therefore the initial, almost non-conscious response is one of reluctance. However once the questions of:

WIFM – What’s in it for me?
WTA- What’s their agenda?
AIGS – Am I getting screwed?

Have been answered to a positive conclusion then the reluctance will correspondingly begin to dissipate.

3. Understanding

By the time the third stage has been reached, those affected by the change will have overcome their initial fears, they will have realised there is no need to be reluctant to the process of change.

The reason being is that they have a greater and more extensive understanding of the theory, rationale and benefit associated with the change.

Sometimes this elevated understanding will come from a communication and follow up from those driving the change. But more likely the acceptance will come about because for numerous self-generated reasons they have brought about an increased understanding of the change.

4. Desire

Because those affected by the change can now see the benefits of the change and hopefully, not just as it benefits them. Although in many cases the level of acceptance will be dependant upon the level of individual benefit.

They will have an increased desire to see the change implemented and the benefits generated.

5. Commitment

Once the desire is there to see the process of change implemented there is a corresponding commitment to both the process associated to that implementation and also a huge commitment to the outcomes that hopefully the change will deliver.

6. Ownership

Because of many reasons, overall benefit being the main one, by the time those affected by the element of change have worked their way through the evolutionary process and have reached stage six, they have an ownership to both the process of the change, but more importantly an ownership towards the results the change will bring.

It is ironic that the most influential step (ownership) in the ability for change to be successful and to generate success is the last one.

But the important thing to remember here is that there is no specific timeline associated with this evolutionary process. As a leader the quicker you can take those you lead, without missing any steps of the evolutionary process, the quicker the benefits of the change will be realised.

Ultimately though the acceptance of change is dependant upon the mindset of the individual.

As I said earlier there are two different forms of change:

1. Change that is communicated to you
2. Change that is communicated by you

Change other than self generated change usually brings with it it’s own set of stress. Change is one of the major causes of stress. Stress is not from the change itself but from our reaction to it.

Many times that stress is caused because most people react to change as though the change is directed at them personally. We are habitual by nature and therefore any change that is put to us affects our habits that in turn, create in us a negative mindset that the change is personal.

However the much needed positive mindset can and will be influenced at times by external forces that allow you to see certain benefits, therefore allowing you to more easily adapt to the practicalities of the change.

There is a series of Peaks and Troughs that you go through in regard to the acceptance of change:

The most important position for the mindset of the individual in the acceptance of the need to change is that you do not know it all and you do not have it all. Get this part right and the process of change might not be easy but it will be easier.

Here are some of my observations in how people deal with change:

• Most people change just enough to get away from their problems, but not enough to solve them.

• Most people want to change their circumstance to improve their life, rather than changing themselves to improve their circumstances.

• Most people change because they feel the pain and not because they see the benefit.

• Most people do not like having to pay the price associated with change. They are not that thrilled with what the change might bring, but they absolutely detest the price required to bring the change about.

• Most people look upon change as an uncomfortable thing that has to be done rather than a beneficial thing that can be done.

• For most, how they view change and everything associated with it will determine how successful that change will be.

The Journey Continues!

There is distinct difference between being nervous about a performance, presentation, meeting or a situation and being anxious to a point of uncontrollable fear based emotion.

Nervousness prior to an event is just a sign that what you are about to encounter is something that is meaningful for you, nothing more nothing less.

However the feeling of significance is a benefit only to the point where it does not force you to change your focus or beliefs. By this I mean, the level of nervousness is such that is still allows you to maintain a clarity of focus on what needs to be done and to maintain a level of belief in yourself or in others who are involved.

However this month’s question of:

How do I deal with the anxiety I get?

Is one where there are any number of factors that need to be considered to provide a true and accurate strategy to go forward with.

You can deal with anxiety in two different ways:

1. Preparation
You do what you can well before so that the chances of anxiety being created are minimized.

2. Coping
If anxiety does come about, you have a set of strategies that allow you to deal with it then and there.

And as important it is to have the coping strategies, I would suggest that you prepare in a way that removes almost any chance of anxiety being witnessed as you go about doing what you have to do.

But as neither way of dealing with anxiety should be ruled out, we will break this up into two parts. Today we will work on the preparation side of things.

I will attempt to give you five areas to consider in regard to dealing with anxiety prior to it happening.

1. What is the cause of the angst

In essence the initial focus should be to discover what is the cause of the anxiety.

• Fear of success
• Fear of failure
• Fear of change
• Fear of getting out of your comfort zone
• Fear of non acceptance

In my experiences high levels of anxiety are usually formed because of the desire for the attainment of a particular outcome e.g. Can we really with this game? Can I fulfill my role? Am I better than my opposition? Am I going to perform well today?

You see the problem is that we focus on something, that in reality, we have little or no control over, the outcome, e.g. Winning. Beating the opposition. But this does not mean that getting what we want is out of our control, it just means we are focusing on the wrong thing.

It is very important to understand this point. We may not have absolute control over an outcome, but we do have control over the process or what it will take to get the job done.

So my first pieces of advice would be to first understand what is causing the anxiety and second, to start focusing on the process or what it will take for you to succeed rather than the outcome itself.

2. Know where your confidence comes from

In my opinion confidence is very personal emotion. That is that confidence can be stimulated and stifled by any number of particular means. However, one of the key drivers of confidence is demonstrated ability.

Generally speaking for most people knowing what you have done in the past will help you have confidence in what you have to do in the future.

And when I say that, I don’t mean just because you have beaten a team last time you played that you should be overly confidence to beat them again.

However if you have practised and prepared well in each and every area that can and will have an affect on the outcome, then you should have a certain confidence to do well. Remember your levels of success will be a direct reflection of your levels of preparation.

The other thing to identify with, is that you don’t always have to have confidence in doing something you have never done before. Like achieving an outcome you have never achieved before.

But because of your levels of preparation, you should have confidence in yourself and those around you, that you can do the things that you have identified as the key drivers of optimal performance. That is, that you can successfully implement and complete certain strategies, plays and options that when completed successfully, will have you well on your way to achieving your overall outcome.

3. Practise dealing with fear

The reason the levels of anxiety continue to rise is because you become fearful of what the result might be. And rather than learning how to deal with that feeling, most people do what they can to avoid it or not to have the fear in the first place, by not putting themselves in the position where that fear can be aroused.

Unfortunately, due to a combination of themselves and the situation most continue to find the fear coming at them in a number of different ways and never really learn how to operate when they are fearful.

My advice, well an idea from a great friend of mine (Graeme Alford) is practise being fearful, practise being out of your comfort zone.

By this, I mean think about some things that make you feel a bit uncomfortable and start putting yourself in those positions. This is what we call comfort zone exercises. And I would suggest you have and have one short term and one long-term comfort zone exercises going at once. I don’t know what you might feel uneasy about doing so, it is hard to make suggestions but bear with me and we will see how we go.

Short Term:

• No coffee for a week
• No desert after dinner
• No chocolate
• Give up alcohol and cigarettes for a period
• Have lunch with work colleagues you don’t particularly get on with
• Take a toastmaster’s course and MC the annual work Christmas party
• Take singing lessons and start practising the national anthem
• Take a high speed driving course
• Don’t eat until you are hungry. No I mean really hungry
• Wear clothes for a short period that are not really you
• Take diving, caving or learn to fly classes

Long Term

• Take public transport to work for one year
• Exercise three times per week 30 mins each time for a year
• Sit on the committee of you local sporting club for a season
• Be a volunteer at a local homeless shelter
• Get out of bed 1 hour earlier each day
• Walk to work for a year
• Drink nothing but water for a year
• Enrol in an education course that you know you are not strong in
• 1 hour each week for one year, do something you do not like to do

You see it doesn’t really matter what you do, just as long as you become a bit fearful when you think about doing it, or you become fearful of what others might think about you doing it.

The key to overcoming your fear or anguish is to put yourself in this position where you learn the skill of being able to do what you need to, when you are fearful.

The other great benefit in doing this little exercise is that as you do these different activities, you will soon realise that you are a lot better than what you give yourself credit for and the reality is that you really have nothing to be fearful of.

4. Stop worrying about what others might think

I would imagine that some of the anxiety might come form the situation where you become concerned about what others might think about, what you do and how you do it.

Now the first thing to contemplate here is that this scenario should only come into play when you think about particular individuals you know that have the experience and understanding to make relevant and insightful judgment calls on you, what you do and how you do it. e.g. team mates, coaches, leaders etc.

The rest that want to pass judgment you should work hard to not worry about.

But you shouldn’t get anxious about filling the expectations of those that you know have the experience, the skill and the awareness to make judgment call in regard to you.

The reality should be that your expectation about you and your levels of performance should be higher than anyone else’s expectations.

Your expectations on you should be based on what you know to be true, through how you have prepared, through the skill you possess, through the commitment, desire and discipline you continue to show.

If you have prepared properly, your expectations will be in most cases a lot higher than what anyone else’s will be, therefore the level of expectations from others no longer become a problem.

The other thing here is to make sure you utilise the observations and awareness of others. Bring together a small group of people that you respect and have experience to be able to give you open and honest feedback on you, your preparation and ultimately your performance.

I know it is not always easy to take feedback, especially when it is not really what you want to hear. But know that you are never going to get better with everyone telling you that you did a great job and everything you did was on the money.

So don’t be fearful of someone telling you that was ordinary look at that information as great insight and something that is going to allow you to be better next time.

5. Understand failure is part of the journey of success

Think about anyone you deem to be successful. Not everything they have done was successful. They sometimes throw a bad pass, missed a goal dropped the ball, made a wrong decision, hired the wrong person etc.

Most successful people realise that failure is somewhere, sometime and somehow going to happen. They do what they can to make sure it doesn’t, but they know that chances are that in some way failure will raise its ugly head. But they also understand this critical point; that failure is allowing them to be one step closer to success.

They don’t necessarily want failure to happen but when it does, it is no big deal. Why? Because they demand a lot of themselves and they know sometime they might push a bit hard and therefore they will fail. However, they don’t see this a failing. They view this as a learning experience.

Failure only becomes a negative if we don’t learn from it.

So as you can see, dealing with anxiety is about dealing with issues well and truly before you are in the situation from where the anxiety can be created.

Like most things in life anxiety is a work in progress and different people, situations, results and expectations will have a different affect on different people all for different reasons.

Hopefully though by working through what we have outlined, when you find yourself in these types of situations, you maybe become a little nervous and hopefully not much else.

The Journey Continues!

Inspiration is an interesting phenomenon. Sometimes you are aware of either the opportunity and/or your ability to inspire someone, whereas in other areas you are an inspiration for people you have never met.

Some people choose to be an inspiration or at least are thrown into a circumstance where they need to be an inspiration and through either one of these situations attempt to exhibit certain traits; behaviours and attitudes that they anticipate will be inspirational for others.

On the other hand others will just get on with life and through what they do and how they do it will inspire others to greater levels of personal and professional success, satisfaction and pride.

Therefore this month’s question of:

How do I inspire others?

Is one where the answer can involve any number of different facets, attitudes, circumstances and situations? I will attempt to give you a brief insight to a number of my key considerations.

1. Don’t over rely on external means

I don’t know how many times I have been asked to present to a group, with the expectation being that through a 45 min talk inspire them to greatness for the next 12 months or so. Now I like to think I am reasonably good at what I do, but the reality is that me or anyone else for that matter will not through one 45min presentation be able to inspire anyone over a prolonged period of time.

The other area that I continue to see teams, organisations and leaders over rely on is Mission/Vision statements. Like most things other individuals, presentations, situations and writings will to a certain degree inspire people. However if you develop a Mission/Vision statement to put it in a nice frame and hang it in the meeting room or displaying it on everyone’s coffee mug and in the process expect it to be powerful enough to inspire greatness then you will in most cases be bitterly disappointed.

Now I am not saying that you shouldn’t do these things but what I am saying is don’t over rely on these or similar situations to be the main source of inspiration for those around you. At best they will be reminders or triggers to certain aspects that could have an ability to inspire.

2. Use your greatest resources

There are three resources that you have right now that can play a very significant role in aiding the inspiration of others.

a. You
Once again never underestimate the affect you have on those around you. But remember this applies both positively and negatively. What you do, how you do it. And how often you do it will determine to what degree and in what ways you inspire others.

Validation of feelings is the greatest accolade we can afford another person. Spend time with others and in doing so show them their true worth, simply by highlighting how good they are and how they are good. Through this interaction you will provide them with a key source of inspiration.

b. Team
The team of individuals around the person seeking inspiration will have an opportunity to play a considerable role in the level and significance of that inspiration. Once again simply by being themselves, doing what they are required to do and looking after those around them will inspire other individuals to do the same.

When we see greatness, success and unselfish behaviour in others it does have an ability to inspire the pursuit of greatness and success for ourselves.
To help inspire others understand and utilise the circle of influence that sits around them. That is know the people that inspire them and why and where appropriate utilise that resource to help inspire the individual you are looking to help.

c. Environment/Culture
If the environment is right inspiration will flow and flow at a great rate. If there is a sense of purpose, a preparedness to get on with the job, a feeling of camaraderie, and sense of pride in what they do and how you they it, chances are most will be inspired to bring their A game to the arena every day.

The environment/culture around the individual will either help or hinder the process of inspiration. Create and culture and an environment that will provide inspiration to all who are associated with it.

3. Inspiration can come from within

In the August edition of The Full Nelson I wrote:

Where do you draw inspiration?

What is it that, when you see it or hear it, gets the adrenalin flowing?

What aspect of human endeavour causes you to be motivated?

What aspects of life cause your skin to tingle?

I want you to think about the answers to these questions and think about them carefully. It is important that you know the answers to these and other similar questions.

But as we have some time while you think about the answers to those questions, if I may, let me ask you another:

Do you ever recognise that things that you have done also inspire, motivate and fire up others who witness them?

Chances are that the humility within you will stop you from being honest here; but I really think it is important that you recognise these aspects of self, that you sometimes look for from others.

Now from my perspective, the two main reasons that you do not always recognise the significant achievements in your life are:

(1) Because they’re about you and perhaps you don’t see what you do or how you do it as anything special; and

(2) As a first time witness, you don’t usually get the exhilaration of seeing the finished product or end result.

It is great that you can find aspects of life from which you draw inspiration motivation and purpose. But as you do, never discount the things you do and how you do them. Don’t ever miss the opportunity to be true to your standards and self, but at the same time never sell yourself short.

If it is OK for others to draw the inspiration and motivation from you, but it is also OK for you to draw inspiration and motivation from the same source.

Now this is not about ego or being full of your own self-importance, or thinking you are better than you are. It is about taking the time and, in the right way, recognising the things that you have done and how well you have done them.

Recognise the things that you have done and done well — the things that have made a difference to your life and no doubt a difference to the lives of those around you. As you do take that step back to recognise all things good that have your footprint on them.

4. Create clarity of purpose

Not as in why they need to be inspired. But more along the lines of how they will be inspired.

As a coach one of my main ambitions and focus was to work with the people I was around to identify a sense of purpose, a set of goals and a set of achievements that they would take great pride in pursuing and achieving.

However I don’t think inspiration will come from the intricacy of a plan, or the identification of a goal. But I do think that the significance of achievement of goals or prospect of reaching the heights to which one aspires will create some level of inspiration, but not necessarily prolonged inspiration.

Outcome, goals achievements. What you get from them, what you become by the pursuit of them will all lead to a certain level of inspiration?

Purpose if identified properly. Purpose if understood correctly. Purpose with true significance will provide inspiration each and everyday simply because that purpose provides the gravity behind what is done, the standard to which it is done, the respect gained through what is achieved, and what will be accomplished each and everyday.

So as I said earlier there are a thousand and one ways you can help inspire others, however before any of it has a chance of working the person must be positioned the be an active participant in the process of going forward. But through some of the things we have outlined and through some of the ideas you have you will soon have those around you moving forward in the excursion of life.

The Journey Continues!

In a recent post on his Blog marketing guru Seth Godin talks about the concept of ‘coachability’.

Seth’s article leads to the point that for someone to get the best out of a coaching experience they have to want to be coached and therefore, emotionally involved in the coaching process.

The subject of coachability is very close to me. In fact, it is an element of what I do everyday in one form or another.

In recent times I have had two instances where I have had to pursue the question of coachability.

One directly where I was being asked to coach a particular group of Managers. Due to a number of reasons I decided that they were not, at least from my perspective, coachable.

When I informed the potential clients of my decision, they were shocked to say the least and within a very short period of time, raised the point of how much money I would make from the opportunity.

I thanked them for the kind offer and went on to reiterate that although I am in business and truly appreciated the level of remuneration involved, what I believed would be required to be done just to get them involved in the coaching process, would not make it a worthwhile experience.

I then attempted to outline that there is a level of participation and commitment that I deem necessary (e.g. the level of coachability) for the coaching process to have any chance of succeeding.

I went on to further explain that from what I had seen so far, the money, no matter how much, probably would not make me feel any better about what would be required just to get them to where they needed to be, just so we could then begin the real purpose for us getting together.

This may sound arrogant, rude and/or dumb. But after coaching for nearly thirty years, I find it a waste of my time explaining to someone over and over again why they have to work hard or why they need to be totally involved, or why success comes at a price and you have to pay the price in advance.

To be totally honest, I would rather spend my time working out how it is I can make someone better. Or how can I help them achieve that goal they desire so much. What are the strategies required to see the outcomes we are pursuing achieved?

This is where I want to be spending my time and theirs.

The second situation involved my role as a coach to another very successful coach. As we were reviewing his past season I asked him to consider six questions.

One of those questions was ‘Did he believe his team was coachable’?

Now please don’t get me wrong. This was not a question about talent, skill or desire and it was not a put down of his team or anyone within it.

But it was a question based on the fact that for any individual/team to get better, the coach needs to be able to coach and the individual/team need to want to be coached.